You know how a song can totally sum up all your feelings? How it can feel like those lyrics were written especially for you. Wondering how the artist could have known exactly what you'd be going through. Well that's me right now.
We had an amazing (late) summer vacation as a family. Totally different from anything and any kind of vacation we have had before. But for now, under the circumstances it was everything and I mean everything I could ever wish for in a holiday. Time together in the sun, seeing Kevin explore a whole new world, getting confident in the water and making friends. But also Silly things like going back to bed during Kevin his naps. Cuddled up in the sheets, my head against Niels his chest. We did not let any moment go to waste but also didn't feel the pressure to "forcefully make the most of it".
Like I wrote in my last post, I wasn't going to let Niels his upcoming business trip and the fact that we would not go home together overshadow our holiday. And I succeeded, we both did. Yes there were some tears but most of the time they were directly wiped away because laughter took over.
Kevin and I are back home now and it is hard to believe that less than a week ago we were still there, the three of us in the sun. Life took back over and it feels like we never left. And that feeling is OK, I love being back home. Except for the nagging part that constantly reminds me of Niels his absence. Kevin saying "papa" when my phone rings or the dogs start barking, lying in bed alone.
I have lots of things I want to write about after our holiday. Notes on my phone, pictures I took reminding me of what I thought in certain situations. Things I want and need to get out, because I hope somebody out there feels the same way or gets comfort out of my words.
But right now I have "Dreaming with a broken heart" on repeat and can't seem to write about anything else.
Please stick around,
Until next time !
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