Hi there, I'm back again with another blog post and this one is going to be all over the place. Lots of things I've been wanting to share, some of them I can't even share at this point. Here we go.
Last week Niels and I planned a date night followed up by a daydate. Kevin went for a sleepover and we went all out. Started with a nice dinner, all dressed up, followed by a movie and then..... a night of uninterrupted sleep and the chance to sleep in.
It can't even be put into words what this meant to me, I love our life how it is now, I love motherhood and everything that comes with it. But what I've been missing are the simple things. Things like having sex in the kitchen (or just anywhere other than the bedroom) at 10AM AKA not naptime. Not having to "plan" those things that you used to spontaneously do.
It was all just perfect and I feel (dare to say we both feel) like our cups are filled back up again and we are ready to tackle whatever comes our way. This being said lots of things are going on in our lives.
Our plans for the future may or may not have been changed. Nothing is certain at this point but it made for interesting conversations in the best possible way. An no I am not (just) talking baby fever, this is about a range of things. Kevin his schooling, work, friendships, our living situation, just to name a few.
During all of this my mother seems to have decided she wants her way back in. She went from not having time for us in the least to coming over every week and calling regularly. Now here it is, I am not one to forgive and forget, I can forgive but once somebody showed me their true colours....... you bet I won't be giving them the chance to "paint my house" again.
But then again she is still my mom and this relationship, treacherous as it may be, is one that will always be triggering for me. It has been such a trigger that it took me months and months of therapy to get to the point where I am today. Like my therapist said "You have to make sure your foundation is solid whenever you face a person that has such an impact on your wellbeing, if this is not the case don't even bother because the cracks will give in and you can start all over building your house".
For now I am taking that advice to heart and we will see where it leads us.
Pretty sure that I'm forgetting at least 10 things I have been wanting to write about. But I guess that means this is it for now.
Writing this blog has become such an outlet for me, almost like a diary. Giving me clarity by naming my feelings and a chance to say some things out loud. I can only hope that someday it will help somebody, even if it is just to know they are not alone.
Until next time!
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