Major fan vibes while writing this post. Tattooed on my arm is a verse from a Fall Out Boy song. It says “Don’t wait for a song to start. Dance alone to the beat of your heart”. The long version is “You know time crawls on while your’e waiting for the song to start. So dance alone to the beat of your heart”
I got this tattoo when I just turned 18. This message was (and still is) what I want to live by. So many things going on back then, finishing school, starting my first real job at a law/legal firm, taking care of my grandma, wanting to do things right. O and this was just around the time that I started to fall in love with Niels. Painfully aware of the fact that my love could just as easily not be returned because of our age difference. Yeah good times *cough*.
My parents always told me I was not allowed to get a tattoo, piercings or do drugs (that one is fair enough :) while living under their roof. But at that point I was already out of the house and had been for years. I had already made choices and taken on responsibilities that somebody my age shouldn’t have. No regrets there, those choices have brought me here and honestly….. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Last week I got the chance to have a day off. Sounds pretty dumb right!!! I am a stay at home mom….. pretty spoiled saying I got a day off while being at home and being in charge of my own schedule (what a joke, Kevin is definitely in charge) all the time right? I know how this might look but there are days, last week was one of them, where it feels like the ME moments aren’t there any more.
So I went into the stable and did something I hadn’t done in a very very long time. Put FOB on the speakers and turned the volume waay up. It took me back to where it all started, made me realise how far we have come but above all brought me to tears. There I was, dancing, jumping around, singing the lyrics from the top of my lungs. I ended up sitting in the hay, dogs by my side, horse eating next to me, Niels working inside the house. Things sure have changed but if I wouldn’t have had the courage to “dance alone to the beat of my heart” back then…… Who knows where I would be now.
Turns out rock songs can very well be lullabies and I am so glad I got to reminisce that part again. Just gotta keep dancing (to the beat of your heart)!
Written by Stéphanie Cranen
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