Hello hello,
Here we go again with another blogpost. Another one about addiction because why not?
As if the the anticipation of our move wasn't enough pressure...... My father in law started drinking again and even though I know I just have to hang in there for a few more weeks it bothers me a lot. The fact that he decided he could burden Niels once more just pisses me off and *grunts* there is so much I wanna say about this. Niels has been so hurt by this man, so many times he had to take on the load and responsibilities for someone who is clearly not prepared or willing to do the same for his son!!!
I am sure I will get some negative comments on this but sometimes I wonder what would happen if he kept drinking. Let's face it a body can only take so much........ On the other hand it is still Niels his dad and coming from my own parent trauma experience, that connection will always be one that triggers. And yes I have also seeked help to navigate my feelings about this man's drinking. So please know that, writing this, I am aware that the above isn't a healthy response. But for now that is what I am feeling and I am damn sure I am not the only one experiencing this.
Also writing this I realise that I haven't written about the situation with my mom for some time.
No specific reason for that. We have had our ups and downs ever since the whole situation blew up (read back on the blog for more background) but the situation as it is now is stable. There are some moments in which we tiptoe about the whole subject or where she makes a comment or statement that needs further explanation. For instance when we are talking about our sendoff to the USA "I won't be coming to the airport, that ship has sailed".
In those moments I don't know how to react, being very aware of how another blowup would cause me to be less stable mentally. With everything going on I just don't have the capacity to take anything else on. I must also add that later on in that same conversation she said that it would be too hard for her seeing us leave. So for now I am happy with how the situation is. In other words, the wound is still there and I don't believe that hurt feeling (on both sides) will ever completely go away..... but I think this is the best we can do for now and I am thankful for that.
Back to regular scheduled programming :) Our move..... It seems like roadblock after roadblock presents itself now that our departure comes closer. Niels and I have been working our asses off to get everything ready, selling most of the machines in his workshop (so proud of you honey) and preparing the best we can. At the beginning of last week (mind you almost 3 weeks after booking our flight) we received the information that Skye wasn't allowed on our flight. Long story short we are about 20 phonecalls and a lot of emails further but still haven't figured out what we are going to do now.
Hopefully we will have this settled by the end of this week because it has sure kept me awake. If anyone reading this has any information or experience regarding the subject? Please reach out, we could really use a helping hand in this.
The next few weeks are packed full of dinners, appointments and of course getting our house ready to be "ghosted" for a few months. Must admit that I am looking forward to getting in the car and going to the airport because at that point everything will be done and we can focus on what's ahead of us.
This is it for now. I will try to write again before our departure, but can't make any promises.
As always I hope this post helped somebody in some kind of way, feel free to reach out if it did!
Until next time!
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